At this moment i wonder will i ever become a serious media/info consumer. What I mean by that is, I consume but it is all dillly dally internet bs.

You remember that scene from succession where logan says ” I love you all but you are not serious people.”

Idk about the love part but he would definitely call my consumption pattern not serious.

I am really consuming a lot of short-form outrage, reaction-inducing, knee-jerk, instinctive type of content: reels, tweets, Reddit posts. All of it is just garbage. I keep at it for long enough that it actually causes mental fatigue, meaning that compute is being spent but it is all wasted. It’s like a computer stuck in the most basic loop, like 1+1 for infinity.

If I want to be someone, I need to get serious. I need to consume things that will actually help me and those things are definitely not what I currently consume. I think there will be a lot more longer and emotionally dry than whatever I am consuming right now.

I am not a serious person right now and that bothers me. I need to fix this.

I think switching off my phone can be a really good option because I have tried almost everything to make the phone unattractive itself. 90% of this problem is accessed using this phone. I have a red light filter on my phone that makes it look like a fucking brake light, yet I use it and then I end up turning it off. Uninstalling apps also leads to reinstalling sooner or later. I think the habit of shutting your phone down and then just sitting at your desk can help.